In Dreams and Death
by EoSvuLuvFan
Summary: Lost between dreams and reality Olivia struggles with a tragic loss. E/O


_So this is just a little one shot that I had floating around. It is kind of out there as far as the plot goes but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hopefully you guys enjoy it. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of Law and Order SVU or it's characters. This story was written simply for fun and not for profit. _

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**In Dreams and Death**

_His breathing was heavy. He could hear his own heart beat loud as thunder in his head. He wasn't sure what was going on. Everything was fuzzy. He heard voices, yet nothing was clear to him. He couldn't understand them. What was going on? Why do they feel so far away? Olivia? Where are you Liv? Why is everything getting so dark? Liv I'm scared. Why am I feeling so.....his world went blank._

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Olivia was in heaven. There was nothing better than relaxing in a hot bubble bath, soaking away the stress with aroma candles and the sounds of soft Jazz. All the stress of her job. The stress of her life. It all went away when she was in the tub. It was the most relaxed she has been in so long.

Then she heard her phone ring.

_Ugh. This better be important._ Was all she could think and without even opening her eyes she reach out to grab her phone.

"Benson. And this better be important to interrupt my.."

"Olivia. It's Cragen."

Oh no. She knew that tone in his voice. She felt her stomach turn and she sat up in the tub.

"Cap, what it is? Whats wrong?"

"I need you to meet me at Mercy General."

"We have a case? Cap, you know its my one day off. I was.."

"Liv...it's Elliot." His voice was so low she could barely hear him. She felt her heart stop and her eyes start to water.

"What happened? Is he okay?" No answer. "Don, tell me he is okay!"

"You need to get down here Liv we need to.."

"God Damn It Don! Just fucking tell me!" She couldn't hide it. He was scaring her. She couldn't stop the tears and the sobs. She only heard that tone in his voice once before almost nine years ago in his office when he had told her about her mother.

"Liv, he probably isn't going to make it. I'm sorry."

That was it. She lost all control. She sobbed harder than she ever had into the phone. She didn't care what he thought. What was he doing working? He was suppose to be off. What happened?

"How...How Don?"

"Single shot to the chest. Bullet tore straight threw. He is in surgery but he lost a lot of blood and they don't think..."

"What the hell happened? Why was he working? Why the fuck wasn't I called in too Don? Why was Elliot alone? Why?"

"Olivia, please try and calm down. Get down here. He needs you now."

She hung up the phone and jumped out of the tub. Before she could get to her bedroom she collapsed on the floor unable to control any part of her body. Olivia was never a religious person. She never really understood praying to God, but she needed something to hold onto. She needed some hope. She clasped her hands together and placed them on her forehead as she spoke allowed,

_"God, please. Please don't let him die. He is all I have. He is my best friend. He is my partner. He is my...He is my everything. I know that I haven't been good to you God. I know that I haven't said my prayers or gone to church, but please, please forgive me and answer this prayer. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to die. He has always been faithful to you. He has children who need him. He has people who love him. He has been nothing but good to you God. Please, please don't take him away. He can't die without knowing. He can't die...without knowing how much I love him. Please God. Please. Please. Please. Oh God. Don't let him die. Please."_

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It took Olivia all of ten minutes to get the hospital. When she walked into the waiting room she almost passed out. Her captain, the rock that he was, and always has been, was crying. Next to him was a crying Kathy Stabler hugging her oldest child.

The tears were on her face before she even spoke. "Don?"

As soon as he heard her voice he made his way over to her and embraced her in a hug. A gesture he had never shown in all the years they have worked together. Olivia collapsed in his arms.

"I am so sorry Olivia. He didn't make it. He died about five minutes ago."

Olivia couldn't control it. She started punching her captain over and over in the chest as she cried. "No! No! You're lying. You're fucking lying!!! Please God no. Please tell me he is okay. This isn't fucking funny Don. Tell me he is okay!"

No words could comfort her. No explanation would make sense. _He was gone. Elliot was gone. _Doing his best to still her arms, Cragen embraced her again even harder than the first time. The uncontrollable sobs could probably be heard throughout the hospital. She didn't care. _He was gone. Elliot was gone._

"I need to go. I need to get out of here."

"Olivia! Olivia wait!" Before he could reach her she was out the hospital doors and disappeared into the night.

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Olivia awoke from the tub with a start when she heard her phone go off.

_Oh God. It was just a dream. He is okay. It was just a dream._

Frantically she reached for her phone. "Benson."

"Olivia. It's Cragen."

_No..no. What kind of sick joke is this to make her live this twice. This can't be happening. This can't be happening again. _"Please Don. Tell me he is okay. Please tell me he is okay." She was crying now. Sobbing once again into the phone to her captain.

"Olivia what are you talking about? I was calling to tell you that there was a problem with one of your DD5's and I just need you to stop by the house to resign it for me. What is the matter? Is everything okay?

_Oh my God. Was it just a dream? He is really okay? _"Is Elliot there?" _Please say yes. Oh please God say yes._

"He is sitting at his desk finishing up some work. Why? Are you sure you're okay?"

She stopped breathing. _It was a dream. He was alive. He was alive._ "Don, DO NOT let Elliot leave until I get there. Tell him to wait for me. Can you do that for me? Please Don?"

"Yeah Olivia, sure, but what is wrong. Why are you crying? Did something happen with Elliot? Is it one of the kids?"

"No, nothing like that. I just need to talk to him. Just don't let him leave." She hung up before he could answer. _She needed to see him. She needed to see for herself that he was okay. She needed to._

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Olivia made it to the precinct in lighting speed. Not even bothering to do her hair or change into decent clothes. She flung open the doors to the squad room and saw him. He was sitting at his desk and looked up when the doors slammed against the walls.

He stood up and began walking towards her. "Liv?"

She didn't care. She didn't care what anyone there thought. She began to cry. Uncontrollably. She ran up to him and grab a hold onto him like her life depended on it. She cried into his shoulder. Still not believing he was really there. "You're okay. You're okay. You're okay."

Elliot's hand came up to pet the back of her head as he tried to move her to look at her face. "Shh..shhh. Liv calm down. What are you talking about? I haven't left work since you last saw me. I have been here the whole time."

She couldn't talk. She wouldn't move. She couldn't let him go. Her grip on him only tightened. "You were gone. You died. You...You..." She began to shake and felt light headed.

"Liv...Liv you gotta calm down okay. It was just a dream. I am okay. I am right here okay. I am right here." He tried to loosen her grip on him and she screamed out.

"No..no El. Cragen called me. I went to the hospital. You died. You..you.."

"Liv. I am here. See. Look...look at me Liv." Finally she loosened her grip on him enough to look up into his water filled eyes. "See Liv. I am okay."

She didn't speak. She only hugged him again. She didn't even notice that the entire squad room was staring at her. At them. Not that she would even care. All she knew was that Elliot was still with her. She wouldn't have to go on living knowing what it was like without him. Before she knew it she was asleep right there in his arms in the middle of the squad room.

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Olivia opened her eyes and the whole room was black. She sat up in a panic. Fearful of what was now a dream and what was reality. _Oh No._

"Elliot!! Elliot!!" She ran out of the bed. As she got to the door it flung open and she ran straight into Elliot's arms.

"I'm here Liv. I'm here."

"I thought it was a dream. I thought you being okay was just a dream."

"Nope. Unfortunately you are stuck with me for a little while longer Benson."

She pushed off him and glared at him. "Don't even fucking joke Elliot."

"Liv, calm down. I was just trying to lighten you up. What happened?"

Olivia slowly made her way over to one of the bunks and sat down before looking up at him. Water began to fill her eyes once more.

"I was taking a bath when Cragen called me and told me that you had been shot. He said that it was a single shot to the chest and that you lost a lot of blood and things didn't look good. He said I needed to get down to Mercy right away. I hung up with him and prayed Elliot. I prayed to God that you were okay. I prayed to God that you didn't die. That he didn't take you away." She couldn't control the sobs any longer. She laid her face in her hands and he came over and put his arms around her.

"Shh..hey hey...it's okay Liv. I'm here."

"You don't understand El. It was so real. I got to the hospital and when I walked in Cragen was crying. Kathy and Mo were there and they were crying too. Cragen came up to me and gave me a hug and told me you didn't make it. He said that you died about five minutes before I got there. I ran out of the hospital all the way back to my apartment. Next thing I knew I was waking up in the tub. When I did I wanted to believe it was just a dream, a horrible nightmare, but then my phone rang again. Just like it had before. It was Cragen again, with that same tone in his voice. I thought that God was making me live it twice. When Cragen told me you were okay I didn't believe it. I needed to see for myself. It was so real El. I really thought you were gone. I really thought I was never going to see you again. When I woke up just now I couldn't remember what was real and what was a dream anymore. I couldn't figure out if you were alive or dead."

Elliot couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say. His partner. His best friend. The woman he loved had just went through an ordeal he wouldn't even dream of going through himself. Instead he just tightened his grip on her and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm here Liv. It was just a bad dream. I promise. I am really here."

"You want to know what I hated most El? You want to know what was the worst feeling I had?"

"What Liv?"

"I never got to tell you. I never got to tell you how much you mean to me. How you are so much more to me than just a partner Elliot. So much more than my best friend. When you died, or I thought you died, Elliot..I died with you." Her face fell into her hands once more as she began to cry.

"Shh..Liv..Listen to me...Let me tell you something Liv. Earlier, a little while before you got here, I fell asleep at my desk. I was up for over 48 hours and just crashed. At least I think that is what happened because all I remember is lying on the ground and all this noise around me. I couldn't make out anything. I just felt this sharp pain in my chest. Everything was all fuzzy and all I could hear was my own heart beat getting louder and louder. Then I remember thinking about you. I remember asking where you were. I remember telling you I was scared. After that I was woken up by a ball of paper hitting the back of my head and Cragen telling me that my partner was having some sort of nervous breakdown and on her way here to see me. Begging for me not to leave until she go here." Olivia didn't have anything to say. She had no words to go along with his story. She just closed her eyes. "Liv, when I woke up and heard Cragen say that, the first thing I thought of was how even in sleep you are my guardian angel. Even in dreams we are connected... Liv, love like that has got to be something right?"

This got her attention. Her eyes popped open and she turned her head to look at him. "What? What are you saying Elliot?"

"In my dream I was dying and in yours you prayed that I would be okay. You prayed to God that I would live. They may only be dreams Olivia, but you truly are my guardian angel. Even in sleep we are connected. Even in sleep we are linked. I was praying for you to come and save me, and you did."

"That is pretty far out there El. Even for Munch."

Elliot chuckled a little and tightened his grip on her. "But I bet Munch would never tell you he loves you. Tell you how happy he is to be around to see you everyday. Tell you how proud he is to have you as his guardian angel. And I certainly hope Munch would never do this...."

Before Olivia knew what was happening his lips were on hers. Not forcefully. Just a light kiss. Waiting for a response. Waiting for her permission. Slowly at first the two of them enjoyed just the taste of each other until it built up into a crescendo of love and passion. Finally their kiss broke and Elliot stared into her eyes.

"I love you El."

"I love you too Liv. In life and death. I love you too."

As their lips came together once more Olivia realized that, _Yes, this was heaven._

_**THE END**  
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_So yeah. Not the most "realistic" story but it just kind of popped into my head so I went with it. lol_

_Please Review!!!_


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